Trueblue, justify yourself..

*Sigh* Its that time of the year again. We have nearly reached the end of the Financial Year. Time to put on my thinking cap and try to recall what I have achieved in the past 12 months. Time to say good things about myself and try to impress the management. Yep..Yep..What else...Its Performance Appraisal (PA) time.

Let’s see...what have I contributed? What would be my achievements? Errr....*thinking* Hmmm...*still thinking*. Darn... I’m struggling here, guys. I’ve always hated filling in the Perfomance Appraisal form but this is the first time in the past 7 years plus in this company that I find it difficult to describe myself. Not that I don’t know what I’ve done. Its just that there’s nothing to brag about. More of "So what? Anyone can do that". I don't feel fully satisfied as compared to the previous years when I at least know I’m doing something right. I guess its kind of hard to justify the achievements. Its a new department. We are learning new things and adjusting as we go along. There’s not much focus cause there’s a lot to do. It gets worse when decisions and directions keep changing.

I’m staring at this form now whilst listening to Gwen Stefani’s Luxurious (hoping to get some inspiration) and thinking..would it actually make a difference if I actually take the extra effort to ‘beautify’ my PA? Surely the bosses already know what rating to give me without having to read it in black & white. Even boss said to me the other day "I have a feeling what to give you already but let me just read your write-up. It may or may not change my opinion". Sheesh...Thanks boss. I know I can always count on you...

A conversation I had with a colleague today..

"Have you done it?"

"Nope"

"When’s the deadline again?"

"Thursday, I think"

"What? This Thursday?Alamak...How? Sempat ke?"

Of course. Typical of us. Doing things at the very last minute. Was a bit worried about it and spent the whole day planning out what to write. Somehow or rather, my colleagues looked so relax. They didn’t seem to worry at all. Some didn’t even bother and some even laughed at me and said ‘Trueblue is so SKIMA’. I don’t know why I was so paranoid about this PA thingy. Too paranoid that I even dreamt that I had a review session with Big Boss and he gave me the worst rating ever. Hehe...Yeah..maybe I am a bit skima. Times like these, I find it hard to run away from my Ms Goody Two Shoes character. Ack..! I guess I need to tone down a bit.

Coming back to the Performance Appraisal form, I’m just gonna describe what I can. What’s done is done. I’ll be happy to just get an average rating :). So, lets just hope for the best. Heehee..