Sorry seems to be the hardest word

"I’m sorry". Sounds like a simple word. You think? What about "Please forgive me". How hard really is it to say you’re sorry? Do you take forever to do it or you don't even think twice about saying it? Maybe how soon you apologise depends on the situation. So, which type are you?

1. If you know you did something wrong, you’ll quickly apologise. There’s no question about it.
2. You know its not your fault but you can’t stand the silence or you can’t stand that person being angry/hurt, so you apologise anyway. You apologise because you feel "takpelah, I mengalah". You apologise because you feel whats the point of arguing for so long.
3. You had an argument. It may or may not be you’re mistake but you’re too embarrased to say you’re sorry anyway. So you just let it pass..don’t talk about it and act as if nothing happened. You wait until the other person talks to you. If that person brings up the subject, then maybe you’ll apologise.
4. Me? Apologise? Never!! I’m too proud. Nothing is ever my fault.

"Sorry’ is a powerful word. None of us really enjoy finding ourselves in a situation of saying sorry to anyone, but every one of us has had to say it periodically. It is a natural reaction for many and yet a huge obstacle for only a few. An honest apology can mend relationships , dissolve anger, soothe shattered pride or heal a broken heart. Avoiding an apology makes relationships more strained and it can reveal something negative about you. Being incapable of apologising can be a real character flaw.

I always remind myself to apologise immediately if I did something wrong. But I also have a tendency to apologise too soon. Sometimes in mid argument, I would just apologise because I can’t be bothered to prolong the fight. I hate silent treatments. I absolutely detest that situation. So I tend to give in, make the first move and apologise. Even when I know that I didn’t do anything wrong. I think its true when people say that women have a tendency to over-aplogise.This is something that I need to learn to avoid.

If you’re in the wrong and you want to make sure you’re apology is ‘successful’, you need to be regretting your actions, take responsibility for them and be willing to remedy the situation. If two parties are equally at fault, it's still up to one person to initiate an apology. After all, you need to take responsibility for your part. However, there is a chance that, despite your apology, the other person is simply too upset over what's happened and isn't ready to let it go. If our apology isn't accepted, we need to take solace in the fact that we've done all we can, and hope that in time the other person will come around. If not, we should still feel better for admitting our fault and for having had enough empathy to see how our actions have affected someone else. I really need to learn how to do this well. I have a problem with people accepting my apology if their facial expression or body language doesn’t actually show it. Its like saying "I’m sorry" and they reply back with a straight face "Hmm...yelah". I guess different people handle these situations differently. I must learn to accept that some people just need to take more time.

I make sure D* says sorry everytime she does something wrong. Even though she’s only 3, I don’t want her to think she can do whatever she wants. Of course sometimes she doesnt realise when she’s being naughty but I do scold her and explain her mistake. So when she does these things and I ask "What do you say, D*?".....She’ll reply "I’m sorry mama.....". She’ll give me a hug and all is well...until of course, when she’s naughty again...... :)

Sorry isn’t really that hard to say. You just need to have a ‘bigger’ heart.