Its hard..but its possible

All my life I’ve had guys as good friends. I guess its a great way to learn how to build a good relationship with someone from the opposite sex, and also get into their head and figure out how they think...There isn’t the same competitive pressure that you have with friends from the same sex either.

Some friends may say.."You’re married now, you can’t have guys as good friends". But I can’t help it....From time to time, I still turn to my guy friends when I want to hear their opinions or simply when I feel down and I want to let it all out. Guys appear to be more cool as compared to girls who can be a bit too emotional(I admit, I’m guilty of that too). So, at times when I feel I want to get out from that ‘environment’..I turn to my guy friends.

But when can that innocent friendship turn into danger? I guess its ok if we’re still single, no strings attached and we are free to widen our friendship with anyone. But what happens when we have a boyfriend/husband...should we be extra careful?

During A-Levels and throughout my University days, I was close to this guy. He was a dear friend. There was definitely nothing going on between us because he had a girlfriend..though I was still single-mingle back then. It was fun talking to him..We clicked instantly..maybe we had a lot in common. We still keep in touch with each other from time to time through email or Yahoo Messenger. Sajela, to tanya khabar. He’s also married already. But one day about a month ago, he started getting a bit dodgy. Telling me that he liked me before...At first I didn’t say anything, thinking he’s just joking. But later on it got worse..so, I guess thats the signal to start slowing things down a bit. Don’t get him to think that I don’t mind or feel comfortable with what he’s doing. Its a waste la actually coz we were good friends..Now I don’t think I can talk freely with him anymore.

Yesterday, an old friend (a guy who’s also married) sms-ed me..wanting to wish Selamat Berpuasa. We got into chatting for a bit just to update each other what we’ve been up to. Until he invited me to buka puasa with him (just the two of us) and said it could be our secret affair..And I was like.."bila masa our friendship turned into a secret affair???". Gross..gross..gross..

So, the answer is my friends..of course we have to be extra careful. Some guys are ok..some guys have hidden agenda. The thing is, am I partly to blame? Did I lead them on? I really don’t know. I ‘m just being myself. Maybe some guys take advantage or misinterpret the fact that I listen very well. But those are just 2 examples of weirdo guys. I have other good guy friends who I know would never lead to anything more. Some are like brothers to me. Can girls and guys be just friends? Its hard but its possible. As long as there are ground rules set, no secret agendas, and you’re willing to take a bit of a risk, a friendship between the sexes can be one of the most satisfying relationships you’ll ever have.

But having said all that...I wouldn’t trade my girlfriends for the world!!!! I love you darlingss....